During periods of transformation, sometimes one has to ‘put down their toys’, as one of my spiritual counselors would say. I have been undergoing such a transition. The journey into motherhood has changed my existence in a big way. It forced me to determine what I was most passionate about in my life. If you know me personally, you know that I am passionate about so many things! The past few years have been a consistent reflection on how to balance my plate. I’ve had to put some really amazing things that I created and truly loved, on hold…or say goodbye to them for good.
Barrel racing took a major backseat as I sold or bred my string in order to fully enjoy a period in my son’s life that I knew would go by so fast. I’ve been sitting on the sidelines for what feels like far too long, yet trusting when I break back out, it will be worth it! I slowed down growing my direct sales business while enjoying the residual income it continues to bring in from all the previous years hard work. I officially retired from being an eyelash extension and microblading artist, which was extremely difficult for me. I loved enhancing the natural beauty of my clients and helping them with their own transformations. I literally had to get rid of all of my tools and supplies in order to force myself to stop taking clients. Something new was calling me and I know better than to not listen. However, saying no to something that I dedicated 8 years of my life to and that once brought me so much fulfillment and satisfaction was difficult. There often comes a point in life where we must let go of things we really love in order to get to the next level. That, to me, is one of the most challenging parts of walking the path to your fullest potential. As I reflected upon these last few years, a series of stages I’ve been through unfolded. I hope they bring a new level of innerstanding to your own journey.
4 LEVELS OF SPIRITUAL EVOLUTION
Level 1 of spiritual evolution is ‘the dark night of the soul’ or the ‘awakening period’ during which there is so much chaos around, that a person is energetically shaken awake by the universe. For me, things became so upside down that I begin praying, pleading, and searching for a solution to reveal itself. During this process, it is more than normal to feel like you cant go on. I’ve been through multiple ‘dark nights of the soul,’ and each time I felt like I wouldn’t make it through it. I had never had suicidal tendencies prior to this but I remember a period in my life where I would drive down to the river and imagine putting my car into drive and driving off the ledge. It was so consuming that I felt the sun would never shine again. But sure enough each time, the clouds parted and the sun began to shine and warm my soul, once more. You see, all storms pass. When they do, its is so relieving that you often glance back at what just happened and ponder how you ever made it through. The desire to avoid another situation like that is so intense that you try your hardest to become aware of cause-and-effect. You focus on the positive, the light, the “good” as much as you can. Just stay positive, think positive, avoid negativity and “wrong” choices.
Level 2 took me by surprise because I honestly thought the awareness and knowledge I gained in Level 1 somehow allowed me to control or steer away from future spiritual storms. Bless my little Neophyte self. The truth of the matter, is that you can’t control the storms…until you go within and innerstand yourself fully, including your shadow or ego self. Your judgement and attachment to your choice’s and other people’s choices, leaves you stuck inside the matrix or duality. For me, this led me back into rough waters once again. But the difference was, this time I knew it for what it was. Now, what to do with it when it showed up became the next task at hand and I learned how to transmute/transform it and I advanced to Level 3.
Level 3 is the stage of evolution where I came to the full realization that we live in a world of duality. I like to call it The Matrix, as everything boils down to algorithms. Down to the most basic particles in life (atoms), there is a negative and positive charge that, together, are responsible for creating everything “solid” we see on Earth. This principle seeps into your spiritual world and you come to the realization that we all have good and bad, light and dark, positive and negative, within every single one of us. This current reality literally could not exist without both sides. We swing back and forth from extremes and discover there is an entire spectrum of this existence. If we are brave enough to continue the journey inward, colorful gems are revealed in Level 4.
Level 4 is where you zoom out and take on, the birds eye view. You become the observer and can remain fully in balance despite chaos around you. This is the option to rise above it all. To no longer play out the dramas of an act but to step into the role of the creator of your own reality. When I say ‘create your own reality’ I don’t mean that there’s no longer trials or obstacles. I mean that when challenges show up, you’re no longer IN them. You realize THEY are within YOU! You get out your tool bag and you get to work fixing the imbalances within your inner cosmos. When a spoke on your wheel/will is broke, you repair it, and you’re back to rolling in no time and with very minimal damage to yourself or others. You’re no longer attached to Karma or your actions. You no longer hold judgement against others, unless you are judging what level they may be on in order to help them rise up. This is the field that I’m currently playing in and thoroughly enjoying it.
So Welcome Back…
So now you’re caught up on where I’ve been and where I’m at. I’ve been on the DL because I’ve been on an adventure into the very heart and soul of who I am, down to the core. Carrying and birthing my son brought me fully into my body, fully into the presence of self. As I stepped more into who I truly am and uncovered layers upon layers, I was intensely reminded of the core passions and projects that I had planted within the soil of myself so long ago. Many of you will remember them as ideas or dreams we once spoke about. They are sprouting, tribe! So many of you have contributed to this creation from simply being my soundboard to fully jumping in to support me. So if you’ve made it this far, I give thanks. It’s going to continue to be a beautifully wild and adventurous ride as I begin to share the inexhaustible energy and power that I have recently tapped into. In the Game of Life, I am loading a new character. I look forward to getting to know you all…all over again.
☮️✨💜 Kim
Absolutely beautiful
Thank you!